Christian Soulmates

Entering into a relationship we hope to find the oneness in a union where we can let ourselves go in the trust that the other will unconditionally accept us the way we truly are. Total honesty is what constitutes this letting go, total honesty with yourself first and then in relationship with your partner, which then allows trust.

Total honesty with self

Are you honest with your needs and wants? Are you aware of what you truly want or need in this moment?

Is this what you want or is it based on the notion of not wanting to upset others through stating your real preference? Often we change our needs to fit in with others for fear of difficulties or non-acceptance.

Total honesty with self is first of all learning to listen to your own truth, your needs and wants, your likes and dislikes. With that comes the differentiation of what is truly yours and that which is based on the assessment of what others might need you to say or do, based on your perception on interpretation.

Total honesty with self includes self-acceptance. Acceptance of fears, anxieties, desires, avoidances, unresolved issues, past hurt and disappointments. This results from self-awareness and ruthless self-inquiry.

Total honesty with your partner

Once you are aware of yourself, as described above, in being totally honest with your partner you need to share those feelings, emotions, needs, wants, likes and dislikes, unresolved issues, past hurt and disappointments with your partner. The reason why we are not always totally honest with our selves and with our partner is because we fear the consequences: emotional pain, disapproval, disagreement, conflict or abandonment. Even though these fear are valid and significant, the journey to processing and releasing any unpleasant emotions or situation starts by acknowledging them first.

A secret lives a secret life

Imagine a couple living with one partner’s secret affair. Even though it might not have been spoken, the energy of that secret lives within the couples energy. It impacts connection and truthful intimacy. The guilt of the philandering spouse is usually slowly eating at their soul. In fact, they are first and foremost disappointing themselves in not living up to their values in life.

Benefit

Total honesty allows you to relax, to become more at ease and self-accepting. This doesn’t mean that all of your actions are necessarily ok, they might still need improvement. The main difference is that you don’t have to hide your truth and can actively work and progress towards becoming the person you truly want to be with behaviours that are in alignment with your beliefs.